Apologies

And then finally, a little scuffle broke out between the two BFF’s. There was some hitting and some shoving, a lot of tears and possibly one momma wiggling through the child-sized fake tree to rescue the boy who was too upset to rescue himself. There were apologies and tears were dried and then all was forgiven.
I’m amazed that a scuffle like this between two little boys was resolved so quickly and peacefully. Emotions were high and yet they were able to let go of any hard feelings. As I watched them walk out the door it was as if nothing had happened.

I wish it were that easy as an adult. How often in life have you gotten into an argument with a friend, a big friendship-changing one, but when all the tears were dried, things weren’t the same. Words were said or actions done that can’t be undone. Feelings and egos were bruised and broken sometimes beyond repair. I’ve lost friends in this life that I wish I could get back. From things I said and things I left unsaid. It saddens me to say this, because I valued her during the time that she was in my life. Each and every friend has had an impact on my life. Wouldn’t it be amazing if friendships as an adult are as simple and basic as they are when we are kids? Simply by brushing away the tears, saying I’m sorry and all of the troubles would be forgotten. Friendships would be renewed, mistakes forgiven, lessons learned, happy endings for everyone.

Adult’s comments do hurt a lot more. However true friends will apologize even if they do not agree with you. They will not apologize because they will realize they were wrong (even if you so want them to see your point of view) But true friends will apologize that they have hurt you so bad and try to not do it again even if they don't totally understand why it is upsetting you so much.

This is how most kids process things, they will say sorry not so much because of the action causing the pain shoving, hitting, name calling, etc… often if you ask them to say sorry they will, but half of the time they just don't know for what exactly but what they do know is that they want to keep that friend, so apologies are necessary. They never meant to make the friends cry in the first place and so they are indeed truly sorry at least for their friends tears even if they do not exactly understand which action they did that was the cause of the tears.

Adults that hurt other friends purposely are not friends indeed. How can you actually be spontaneously sorry for the tears of your friends or best friends if you purposely caused them? True friends will apologize to each other sincerely as they never meant to hurt the other one. If they meant to hurt you then they were not friends in the first place. True friends will at least try to understand the hurt; but we are human and humans have different personalities and emotional needs, so fights and hurts are inevitable.

Adults always want a specific reason for the apologies, it will be simple and more accurate to apologize for the hurt and try to not cause so much hurt again.