Well it’s official now. I don't have anymore babies. Although according to Mike I have not had any for a long time. To me it starts now. There is something when they turn 4 that makes it seem like they are more of a little man/girl. I guess to me it’s the realization that now they can go to school. That means venturing out all day without me around. What are they going to do?
My job for the past nine plus years has been to be here at home for the kids. I know I will still be here for them before school and after but for the first time in a very long time I will be alone during the day. I am upset at this thought. Everyone says I will find something to do or I will still be busy cleaning but the comment I hear the most is “ aren’t you glad” and the answer is no, not really.
I have treasured this past year with just Wesley. You see Wesley is all boy and such a daddy’s boy that before this past school year started he would not want me for anything. He would cry for hours wanting daddy. The times that Mike was around I did not even exist to him. But with everyone else gone he had to come to me when he needed help. I have loved seeing his personality develop and I love to hear him laugh. He can be so sweet and gentle, kind, and loving that it brings tears to yours eyes and then again he can be so mischievous. He has quite an imagination and when he hugs you, you know he means business. He is so funny and just plain silly but can also be so serious about “working” with paw paw and all the work they have to do. He loves his brothers and sisters and goes along with whatever they want to play or do.
I know that this is the beginning of Wesley finding out who he is and what God has planned for him. I know that no matter what this year holds in store for Wesley or me that as long as he and I trust in God to show us the way, we will be okay.
Psalm 119:2
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