What was the point?

I had a conference with Wesley’s teacher again this week. But I learned more speaking to another parent than I did at his conference.

*****names have been changed*****

*Jill was upset and she asked if we could speak for a few minutes, I told her of course although to be honest I really didn’t feel like it as she is not one of my favorite people to talk with as I find her to be negative and critical of most people. Yet here I was with something telling me to make time for her.

Jill said, yesterday my son nailed me. I know God speaks through all kinds of ways, but it is particularly stunning when he does it through a child......your child.

She picked *Allen up at school and asked his teacher how the day went. Jill said I rarely ask his teacher anything about his day because Allen is a reliably good kid. His teacher responded that he had had a much better day than last week. I chimed in that we were not thrilled at his grades and thus, we had removed electronics for him this week.

I really didn't think too much about what I had just said as we walked away. I looked back to make sure all three kids were with me as we made our way to the car. Allen had that look on his face, the look of trying to control his tears. As we left the crowds of kids and parents, Allen made his feelings known. She said, honestly, Allen was angry. I don't think he has ever been this angry with me. I was a little stunned.

Then he said, “Mom, why did you tell Mrs. C. that? You really just said it to look like you are good parent and are doing what you are supposed to do. Did you really have to tell her that? What was the point?”


Wow! Ouch. Yeah, what was the point? I spent the next day really thinking about that. He was right. There was no point. It was only to show Mrs. C that "they were handling things" at home. You know, I am that "on top of it all" mom, the "totally in control" and "we are going to get to the bottom of this" mom.

I begin to wonder is that me? Am I one that feels a need to “justify” and speak up to affirm to a teacher that I can handle my child? Do I carelessly not consider what my child thinks or how they feel belittled. Am I afraid that if I don’t agree with their teacher then they will think I don’t care or maybe I was trying to impress them get their approval/recognition that I was doing my job as a mom “right”.

Oh no, that is SO wrong! There is only one person who matters. HE is always there and as long as I read, listen and follow HIS word I know I am doing a “good” job.

Proverbs 22:5-6

In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.