18 Minus X

18 is the age when your child leaves for college. “X” is his/her current age. Subtract “X” from 18 and the answer you get is the number of years you have left with your “baby” under your roof and under your guidance.

My answer was seven and it just wasn’t enough!

My oldest daughter is now moving on to middle school and I came to the shocking realization that I only had her home for 7 more years. Most of those would be the “dreaded teen years” and I wondered how much of her attention and allegiance would be toward her family versus her friends, school, sports, and of course the world of electronics. Where did all the time go? I had my first real panic attack and no brown bag to breathe in!

It took a good three days before I had a handle on my mathematical epiphany. I asked myself many questions.

Had I been a good enough parent? Had I used my time well up until now? What more did I need to accomplish so she would be ready… really ready, to go out in to the world on her own?

I decided that I was a pretty good parent. My daughter got along well with other kids and adults, was polite (in public) and got great grades. But deep in my heart I knew that my husband and I needed to do more than these basics to truly prepare her for her future independence. We could only rely on schools to teach her how to pass academic tests. When it came to passing the tests of life, it was up to us as her parents to teach her. We had 7 years left to do our job and have Kasey comprehensively prepared to go out in to the real world when she left for college at age 18.

But where was I to begin? I realized I had so much to accomplish and I wished I had started earlier. I wanted Kasey to learn simple tasks like laundry and cooking. She needed knowledge on how to manage a bank account, balance a checkbook, save and invest money responsibly, and understand the concept of restraint when using credit cards.

I wanted to teach her skills with which she could manage challenging emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment, not only her own, but in difficult people that she would surely meet. She needed people skills and life skills. Leadership, initiative, motivation, the art of diplomacy, and altruism also made the list that grew and grew.

I made a sincere commitment to be not only a mom, but also a teacher and a coach. With each new day I would identify and utilize windows of opportunity to impart skills and knowledge on life that would help her to pass the tests of life. Experience, confidence and ability would be hers to keep forever.